We are all well aware that we develop our native language at an early age through our spoken interactions with our family. But did you realize that you learn a “native language of relationships” through those interactions as well? And, just as you become fluent in your spoken language, you also become fluent in your relationship language, and you “speak” this language in your interactions. Was your family verbally affectionate? Physically affectionate? Who made the decisions in your family? Who did the household chores? Were there loud arguments or quiet disagreements? We all observe and learn these aspects of family life (and more) and our native “relationship language” emerges when we create our own relationships and families. Couples frequently have difficulty navigating disagreements about everyday occurrences because they are speaking different relationship languages. For example, one member of a couple may have been reared in a family in which disagreements occurred through loud boisterous discussions which did not threaten the basic affection family members felt for each other. Another member of the couple may have been reared in a family that did not tolerate animated disagreements, but expected family members to resolve differences quietly and with restraint. This couple may have difficulty navigating expected disagreements because they are talking different relationship languages.  As a result, emotional wounds occur and feelings get hurt. It is important to recognize the relationship language that you speak, and to recognize the language of your partner, since none of us were reared in identical families. This knowledge can promote a better understanding among couples and family members, and promote the growth of a more emotionally supportive environment.